For all that’s right I have nothing left

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For all that’s right I have nothing left
It’s the heaviest I’ve had to carry
And the smallest I’ve felt in years
I wanted to be great but I failed the test

Or did I pass or does it matter?
Does everything happen in circles and circles
Spiraling down until everything is shattered?
Is it good as it is or is it simple as it is?

If you can’t find the word you search for words
And if you lost me you know where I am
But if I lost you it’d be the end of worlds
You were always better than me

I’m not jealous though it’s just real
I admire you and can’t understand
How I’m able to do more than pretend
That it is in fact real

There are levels that I’ll never finish
Areas I won’t explore
Happiness that’s hidden for me
But that won’t matter to me

Because one thing I got in life
And that’s _____