Shame

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And at times when the disgust crawls up your throat when the shame creeps up on you again because you remembered what you did and how you treated her, without wanting to hurt her, but without not wanting not to hurt her either, you realize that you can’t take it back. Whatever happened, happened. And it’s not about the damage or the hurt, the pain it might’ve caused back then. I’m sure it was “nothing”, at least nothing compared to what life does to you. But for me, it was shameful. I feel ashamed of and for myself. I am sorry and I would like you to know that the memory still comes every now and then. You deserved so much better.